F The Media – Original Recipe, vinyl sticker
F the media for so many reasons, including…
F the media for telling me that the news is “on my side”.
F the media because that sassy, wise cracking TV character you’re basing your personality on doesn’t exist.
F the media for claiming that one brand of beer is colder than all the others.
F the media for reminding us that this program is being brought to us commercial free by Gillette.
F the media because that yellow line in football isn’t there.
F the media because you’re not sure how many Africans are dying of AIDS, but you know that “Every Seasons Starts At Dicks”.
F the media because the TV memories of your life never happened.
F the media for suggesting that our lives could be better if only we were to buy this or that.
F the media for not accusing Michael Jackson of faking his voice.
F the media because if alcohol companies really wanted you to “drink in moderation” they wouldn’t make commercials.
F the media for teaching us which breakfast cereal has the most crackles.
F the media for trying to pass off infomercials as natural, spontaneous meetings between friends.
F the media for laughing at their own jokes.
F the media for defusing the seriousness of the news by interrupting it with commercials for denture adhesives and constipation aids.
F the media for reality television, morning TV talk shows, and Dick Vitale.
F the media for helping make America one of the least informed countries in the world.
F the media for using the same stupid ideas over, and over, and over again.
F the media for giving us actors playing the roles of seasoned journalists.
F the media for encouraging us to care about the outcome of sporting events.
F the media for the McDonald’s Halftime Report and the Motorola Call-Out-To-The Bullpen.
F the media for teaching us that our sport drinks have “an attitude”.
F the media for hard hitting news like “The making of the Dallas Mavericks Dance Team” on 20/20 and Dateline specials about Madonna.
F the media for plug-in bathroom freshener commercials that are celebrations of life.
And finally…F the media for using a pair of talking lizards to sell us beer.
